Writing

I'm a Rope Top, not a Merry-Go-Round

Look, I get it, I really do. Rope is cool and I completely understand why you want to be tied up. There's a reason that I love it too, but just because you want something, does not mean that you're entitled to it. As a Rope Top, I get horribly offended when I hear people talking about some other Rope Top only plays with/ties up certain people, and it's not the person that doing the tying that offends me, it's the person that seems to think that simply because a Top has the ability to tie some, they should tie anyone that asks. Again, I get, rope is cool and there only a specific set of people the have the skill set to be able to tie people up in an aesthetically and effectively restraining way and that number drops further when you start asking people for suspensions.

However, just because I can tie you up, does not mean that I'm obligated to do so. It's like sex. You CAN have sex with every person that asks, but you certainly don't have to, in fact, I might be a little bit concerned if you did. Let's use another example: flogging. Do you agree to flog every single person that asks you to? I'm sure there are some people out there that probably do, but the vast majority of people don't. Again, just because you can, doesn't mean that you have to. So, what's the difference with rope? Is it that you don't think it's really a scene? (Trust me, speaking from both sides on this one, it is). Is it that it's difficult so people that can do it should be more accommodating? Seriously, I am at a complete lack of understanding.

I only Top people that I'm attracted to and even then, I only Top women except the rare extenuating circumstance. Guess what, I only Top fit women. That's my preference, everyone has their own sexual preferences but it seems that when a Rope Top wants to have these preferences in their scenes, they're asshats. If you NEED me to justify myself, I do have more reasons for only topping fit women (i.e. I'm small and even with mechanical advantage, I cannot physically suspend a large person) and I'm glad to share them with you, but I shouldn't have to. Nowhere else are Tops (or bottoms) required to give justification for not wanting to play with someone, but when a Rope Top does it, it's because they're biased against big people. Guess what. We all have biases. You have biases. If someone doesn't want to play with you, move on. There are always going to be people that do want to play.

TL/DR: The point here is that although I am a Rope Top, I am not a merry-go-round that everyone gets to take a turn on. I am a person, with preferences and deserve the ability to make my own decisions about who I tie and why I tie them.

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